Sore ini
mendung, aku suka suasana teduh seperti ini. Di iringi sayup-sayup kumandang
adzan ashar yang mengajak kita untuk kembali bermunajat kepadaNya. Suara yang
menentramkan jiwa. Sejenak ingatanku melayang ke kampung halamanku, Pekalongan.
Sudah satu bulan ini aku belum pulang, ya mungkin aku merindukannya. Rindu akan
kehangatan bersama keluarga.
Sebait doa
kupanjatkan padaNya. Berharap yang dirindukan selalu dilimpahi dengan
keberkahan dan cahayaMu. Aku selalu ingin dan ingin, kelak, aku bisa membuatnya
tersenyum, membuat mereka bangga. Membuktikan kepada dunia, beliaulah pelita
kami, yang berharga dari kami, motivator kami.
I’d
make a wish
I’d take the time
To sit and wait
Or stand in line
As i’d go and watch you leave
As i’d see you walk away
To somewhere
To some state
To a place that i don’t know
But before you go
I’d want you to know
That i’ll think of you
Every step of the way
As
you’d step out of where i stand
And i’d struggle to say good bye
I won’t cry
And i won’t shed a tear
For i know that i’ll be wishing
That you’d be here
Right beside me
As i’d hold a dandelion in my hand
I’d wish with all my heart
That you’d turn around
You’d walk back to me
And hold me in your arms
Once again like you did before
I’d hold a dandelion
And i’d hear my heart beating
As you be leaving
On the next train out
To somewhere far away
And i’d want to hold you
In order for you to say
With me so i’d be at ease
But you’re not
So i’d have to let you do
As you please
As you walk out
And i’d tremble
But i do not cry…
This will be my last letter to you before I leave. I
live a wonderful time with you Mom, learning the meaning of the word love, forgiveness,
sincerity, and dreams. Dad, when
I think of you, you are always raising me in your arms for more than seventeen years, I am filled with a sense of gratitude.
From you I learn many things, about wisdom, simplicity, and strong. I would like to thank you for all the help I have
experienced over the seventeen years I have had. Don’t you know Dad, there is no one else has lived a happier life than me.
Everyone will be dead, so am I. Death will come to mind. A person dies once. Then, she forever can not do anymore. Only last month it looked like we might be together again after all.
Now that always can not be, I want so much for you to know all that I have come to
know. I am just afraid I haveny say sorry
before I leave. I do not know what should I do. I just can pray, I hope before
I die, I can make you both, proud of me. I realize, my live is no longer old. Unfortunately, I may write only a few simple words
for you.
So please Mom and Dad,
I
apology for all mistakes that I have ever done. I remember when I hospitalized
because of that accident, my new motorcycle given you was broken. I broke it
directly, even that was your present as my seventeen, but you never complained
about it. You always accompanied me a whole time. You whispered my name in
every your prays to Allah. You wish I could be better soon. Although you were
tired, you never made it as your problem. Mom, you are my everything. Dad, you
are my hero. If
anything happens to me, I should like you to know how much you have meant to me.
Above
all, Mom and Dad, please take care of your health, and I wish for everyone’s
prosperity. I always and forever will be living near you and will be praying
for your happiness. I will go smiling on the day when my time arrived. Forever.
Mom
and Dad, please be glad for me.
Could
I remind you about last party of Mom’s birthday? It was a marvelous thing. That
is the best party we shared together. I love you, I always have.
For someone who still stay
in my deepest heart,
There
are so many things I would like to tell and ask you, but I can not say any more
words. I am not going to ask for forgiveness again, I understand it as well. I
thank you for having the courage to say the things I never had the courage to
say, and I thank you for showing me your heart and your mind. I feel as the
same what you feel, actually. I just have myself to blame for it why I can not
say so like you do.
I
wish things could have been different. You know, I have to force myself not to
think of you more. But It does not work, just useless. Do you remember when you
let me go years ago? I have to try because I do not want to make the same
mistakes again. Now, you come to me and tell everything. I do not know what
your mean.
I
realize we have both hurt each other over the years, but I never thought things
would end like this. I have found many pictures of us looking happy, we
shared our high school time together. Did you forget? Now, I so badly realize.
You never lie to me. It is true.
I
am quite hopeless that this letter will make any difference, that this
story will have a different ending, but I would not forgive myself if I did not
at least try one last time. I am shameless when it comes to you. You are so
right, I will continue to live half of one until I finish my story with you.
Let me come to your life. You wait very long to hear from me, and I will wait
that time and longer for you. Thank you for saving my heart. I love you so.
